im on a treadmill
inching forward
one step at a time
and i could get off
if i wanted
but i stay on it

because i need to go forward
i need to keep going

and i look around
and people tell me
to keep going forward
i need to go forward

and sometimes i step off
and do things i like
but i end up back on
going forward
pushing forward
forward

eventually i make it to the end
the end
a ledge
no longer moving forward
i need to go forward

so i take a step
a single step
forward
and i fall
off
off
off

and im plummeting
and im spiraling
and im further down
so far down
and i hit the water face-first

nosebleed

i sink
deeper
and i cant see
and im asking for help
arms flailing for another to grab hold
and im screaming for help
but no one comes
no one is there
and im at the bottom
my chest touches first
and im at the bottom
but i need to go forward
so i stand on my feet
and im drowning
i cant breathe
but i need to go forward
so i take a step
and another
until im weak
and im slow
and i dont even know which way is forward
but i need to go forward
but i need
and i open my mouth
and the water flows in
and i let it
i let it

and i float up
up
and i float
and they see me
but they move on
move on
and i stay there
forever