nihilism; knowing the nothing.
existentialism; making up something.
absurdism; embracing the nothing.

i sometimes wonder why we think about the other side; the end; the void; the empty.
what do we gain by thinking about out what happens?
what happens when we figure it out?

i have been thinking about the other side a lot. the end of life; devoid of soul; devoid of all.
would it be better than life?
than the memories i carry around?

if our life has no meaning, as the nihilists believe, then in what world would we have meaning? what defines meaning?

if we should go about creating our own meaning, then what is stopping somebody's meaning from being taking other's?

and if the absurdists are right, then how? how do we embrace the nothing?
suicide is not the option, no. it's an option, yes. its just not the right one.

sometimes it seems better. sometimes it seems sweet, ripe, like the only way to make everything better. sometimes, and damn i hate those sometimes, but sometimes the thoughts win.

all you can do then, in those horrid moments, is remember that no matter what, those moments arent going to last forever.
you'll get out of it. i know you will. the thoughts inside your head are not your thoughts. hear them, but know they are wrong